When one spouse is struggling with addiction, it’s easy for the other spouse to become overly involved in their recovery. This can lead to codependency, which is when one person becomes too reliant on another for their emotional needs. While it’s important to be supportive, it’s also important to maintain your own sense of self-worth and independence. The first thing you can do is keep an open mind and try to be understanding. People confronting their addiction are likely feeling a lot of guilt or shame already.

It’s recommended that the supportive partner seeks their own support during the recovery process. You may consider individual therapy or a peer-led support program like Al-Anon. It may require an intentional and lengthy process for both partners to learn how to rebuild trust within the relationship. Recovery from substance use disorder can cause many changes in your marriage — not all of them positive. Join our newsletter to be part of a community of people with shared experiences. This is a great asset to those struggling with their own personal battles.

The Person With the Substance Use Disorder

Contact Casa Palmera today, where our compassionate and experienced team can help you and your partner get the help you—and your marriage—need. The recovering addict must also be patient as his or her spouse works to rebuild trust. Trust is linked with intimacy, so understand that your spouse may need time to rebuild the sexual part of your marriage as well. Being patient will be key in getting your marriage back on track, whether you’re living with an alcoholic/drug addict in recovery or you are an alcoholic/drug addict in recovery.

You won’t be any good as a partner in their recovery if you are not in a good place yourself. Remember that it is okay to get angry and express your emotions with your partner. It can also be very helpful to have someone else to talk to about your experiences. Consider finding a therapist to talk to, or joining a sober partners support group.

Leaving a Partner with Addiction: Is It the Right Time?

That’s six hard, beautiful, glorious years during which I not only stopped drinking, but also finally moved on from all recreational drugs as well as a history of bulimia. One small study conducted in Iran found that training in positive thinking skills improves hope and quality of life in individuals with drug dependency. The positive effects were attributed to focusing on positive emotions, adapting to challenges, and recognizing strengths. Preparing to leave a partner who misuses substances requires careful planning and support.

Rebuilding trust, especially if it was eroded during your struggles with substance abuse, is a gradual process. Trust is a cornerstone of any successful marriage, and actions speak louder than words. To rebuild trust, consistently demonstrate your commitment to sobriety through honesty, reliability, and accountability. Your support network plays a pivotal role in maintaining sobriety and strengthening your marriage. Lean on friends and family who understand your journey and genuinely want to see you succeed.

Go to Marriage Counseling for Addiction

You are a mirror now, a flashlight of sobriety in a society that is laced with the judgment that it’s abnormal to abstain from alcohol. People will assume you drink and will be very curious about why you don’t have a drink in your hand when they do. Before I quit drinking, I never really used to care about dividing the bill down the middle with a group.

Addiction shatters some of the most important components of a strong marriage, including trust, intimacy, and communication. Living with an alcoholic or drug addict also means the addiction will come first for your spouse, even before the marriage. With Bill’s sobriety, the quality of our relationship improved enough for us to marry.

Create a Sober Shared Space

Although marital satisfaction starts high and declines for the average newlywed, some spouses may follow qualitatively distinct trajectories. The groups varied systematically in their 4- and 10-year divorce rates, and wives tended to follow more satisfying trajectories than their husbands. Personality traits, stress, aggression, and communication behaviors marriage changes after sobriety assessed shortly after marriage discriminated among groups in expected directions. We conclude by outlining theoretical and practical implications of identifying distinct and predictable patterns of change in relationship satisfaction. The clear lines of communication spouses established during those early years of sobriety have borne fruit.

• Research has shown that addiction is better understood as a disease than a choice.
• Of course, we still had to pay for my husband’s drinks, but that’s the rub.
• A marriage in recovery means volunteering to go through that backlog together.
• This cycle can be hard to break, but it is possible with the right recovery strategy for you and your partner.